Last night I woke up to the thunder of my sump pump continuously running. Because that was unusual, I began the “what ifs”. Quickly recognizing that I would be lying awake if I didn’t do something, I began to meditate, simply focusing on my breathing.
As my attention wandered to all the catastrophes that might happen, I brought it back to my breathing. My heartrate began to slow down and my thinking began to wander off to other subjects much less worrisome. I noticed that I wasn’t worrying about the pump and wasn’t hearing it anymore though it was still there. I continued to draw my
attention back to my breathing. Eventually, I noticed a heaviness on my right side but a bubble of lightness in my core. The lightness expanded and the heaviness dissipated. This was a truly beautiful sensation. I felt totally relaxed. There is no goal in mindfulness meditation except focusing on breathing and observing. I probably didn’t fall asleep any faster than I normally would but I was certainly relaxed. I didn’t experience the agitation of not being able to sleep, the watching of the clock and the tossing and turning. However, I noticed when I just kept returning to my breath, the worrying slipped away. Much better way to spend the middle of the night wakefulness!